A Look At The End
by Bert Oliva
Today, I watched through my team member’s, Val’s, eyes, as she helped her ill grandmother have a fantastic time ballroom dancing. I saw her eyes tear up as her grandmother smiled and even though her Alzheimer’s riddled mind keeps her from remembering her granddaughter’s name half the time, her body remembered the dance steps that she used to dance with her late husband every weekend. The smile that lit up the almost 88-year-old woman was blinding. She had an amazing time.
While Val was thrilled to see her grandmother so happy, I also saw something much deeper and darker hit her too: fear and knowing. Fear of losing her beloved grandmother and knowing that this reality will happen only too soon. These emotions made the moments harder for Val, but I think she enjoyed them more because of how very deeply she felt the whole experience.
I know these emotions all too well with my late mother, but unfortunately I don’t feel that I took enough times to be with her before she passed, which is why I’ve pushed Val so hard to enjoy every possible moment she can with her grandmother.
It’s important for everyone to realize that nothing in life is permanent. Nothing is forever. And we should take absolutely nothing for granted. Especially those in our lives whom we love dearly.
I’m not saying anyone should focus on the negative, but I do think it’s vital that we realize the impermanence of everything in life so that we can appreciate every single moment we have to its fullest. We get so caught up in everyday busy-ness most of the time that we miss out on the true point of life—those magical memories with our loved ones.
Though it may be easier to avoid the hard moments by simply staying too busy to see that family member who’s ill, etc., it won’t make the final moment any easier. In fact, it will make it harder. Val has told me on numerous occasions that she’s grateful for all the extra time she’s been taking with her grandmother. That she knows, that in the end, she will have tons of beautiful memories to fall back on and hold close to her heart. And I do believe the one of her adorable grandmother doing the foxtrot with a jack-o-lantern grin on her face will be near the top of the list.
Live Life,
Bert Oliva
SEP