Are You A Doer or A Talker?
by Bert Oliva
Are you a doer or a talker? When you have something that has to be done, do you get right to it, or do you procrastinate it? It is human nature to procrastinate items now and then, but to some people procrastination can be a way of life, and a devastating one at that.
I have a coaching student whose defense mechanism has always been procrastination. For years, this pattern of behavior has been brought to her attention by everyone around her, but until recently she didn’t see it as anything but a “bad habit.” She justified it with blanket statements such as “I work better under pressure,” “I’ve been so stressed lately that I need to just rest first,” “I’ll get right on it first thing tomorrow.”
The problem is that these statements are only justifications of behavior that has been keeping her from achieving success her entire life. She continuously sabotages herself by putting obstacles in her own path. She constantly makes decisions consciously and subconsciously to keep her from doing what she has to achieve.
She squanders her resources. The cost of which is her physical, mental, and emotional health. Procrastinators have higher levels of stress, are more likely to get cold and stomach infections, have strained relationships due to the resentment of others who have to pick up their slack, and are more likely to suffer from insomnia.
According to research, there are three types of procrastinators. Avoiders who have a fear of success and prefer to have the excuse that they just didn’t try rather than they didn’t have the ability to succeed. Decisional Procrastinators choose not to make decisions on their own because then they are not responsible for the outcome. Arousal Procrastinators actually enjoy the last minute rush of working on things under pressure. Many times people are a combination of these three.
However, regardless of the type of procrastinator a person is, procrastination’s underlying foundation is the inability to manage emotions and a lack of impulse control. My coaching student focuses on feeling good now. Rewarding herself now. Ultimately, for this coaching student, her procrastination is really not laziness, but her underlying need for control in her life. She unconsciously is trying to do things “on her own terms,” but doesn’t seem to understand that with procrastination we always feel less in control in the end than when we started. This “conditioned rebellion” has now caused her to become used to the feeling of reluctance and dread when she has to do something.
As you can see, procrastination is truly a vicious cycle. And anyone can let it get out of control. So, how do you break the habit? Mark Tyrrell wrote an excellent article entitled “How to Stop Procrastinating” that sums up great steps to become a recovered procrastinator:
- Stop Leaking Energy: Stop wasting time talking about what you’re going to do or need to do. This is just empty talk. Instead, use the energy you normally would to speak about a task and actually go and do it. Then surprise the people you normally speak to about your “should have, would have, could have’s” by telling them what you actually did.
- Stop Waiting to Feel Like It: You have conditioned yourself to not feel like it. You are not going to just feel like it. You have to recondition yourself by building willpower and discipline, which are like muscles that you can build upon. Ignore all of your normal distractions and emotions, see them as irrelevant obstacles your mind is creating for yourself, and just get to work.
- Be Honest With Yourself: Stop justifying and making excuses for why things haven’t been done. Own up to it. Admit that it’s due to procrastination.
- Stay Away From Displacement Activities: Don’t do anything instead of getting your work done. Rewarding yourself before you accomplish things usually isn’t even enjoyable because at least part of yourself is focused on what you should be doing. Instead, focus on how you will feel later if you do not accomplish what you have to now. Though this sounds like a negative visualization, it will cause you to relieve the discomfort by doing your tasks now.
- Say No: Set boundaries for yourself. Don’t allow those around you to coax you into displacement activities with comments of “You can do that later,” etc. Remember, activities should be rewards, not displacement activities. Decide when you’re working and tell yourself and others. Be strict with yourself and protect this time as sacred work time.
- Visualize: Visualize working on your task and finishing it. Start telling yourself that you are a person who completes their goals in a timely manner. Remember, what we think and believe becomes our reality.
- Declare It: Commit to completing your task by a certain time in front of people who will hold you accountable. Write it down and sign it. This very act will help you stay more committed to your goal because you don’t want to be seen as a failure in front of others.
Though procrastination can be one of easiest ways to keep yourself from succeeding, it is not insurmountable once you realize you have a problem with it. If you are even slightly flirting with the problem of procrastination, I urge you to take action now to rectify it, so that 30 years from now you are not sitting with “I could have’s…” but instead “I did’s…” You will be so glad you did. I guarantee it.
Live Life,
Bert Oliva
MAR