The BOWA Blog

Bert Oliva

What Do You Care?

by Bert Oliva

Last night, my family and I continued a long-standing tradition for us. We went and bought a Christmas tree—together. My wife brought out reindeer antlers, Santa hats, elf hats, and even a Rudolph’s red nose. Each one of us picked a costume, put it on, piled into our “Swag wagon” and listened to Christmas songs as we drove to the tree place.

When we got there, the person working the front entrance did not want to let us through. She said they were closing soon and could not let anyone else in. We told her how this was an important tradition in our family and how it is so difficult to get all of us together nowadays. After some hemming and hawing, the lady let our crew through.

We quickly picked out a tree and then stood in the long line to have the tree cut and wrapped. As we stood there, we sang Christmas carols and danced together. Though we sang loudly and out of tune, we laughed and danced. We even Facetimed other family members so they could virtually sing and be a part of the experience. The other people in line looked at us very strangely and were annoyed at us at first, but we did not care. We only sang more loudly. By the end of it, however, at least some of them were smiling and even singing along.

My family and I could have given up when we were told the tree place was closed. We could have stopped singing when people first complained. We could have even given up when we didn’t know all the words to the songs. But we didn’t. And when got home half an hour or so later, this year’s tree buying was already one of the best ones yet.

Though numerous obstacles got in our way, my family and I were able to keep our tradition going. Moreover, our laughter and silliness in spite of the looks we first got affected the loved ones we called and even the strangers around us. Our positive energy rippled out and made even the most cynical people present smile for at least a moment. Our persistence gave us one more excellent memory and gave everyone we touched a positive energy boost for a little bit.

This is why traditions are important. They connect you to your roots and keep your loved ones together. They also bring back great memories and help you create new ones. Good traditions will even bring new people together and allow them to enjoy the moments as well. Do not let life or others’ judgments get in the way of your traditions. Fight for them. Sing in spite of those judging around you. They’re going to judge you anyways. You only have this one life, live it your way, and make the memories you want.

Live Life,

Bert Oliva

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Bert Oliva

Be Present!

by Bert Oliva

The holiday season is upon us. And though it’s a time of family, fun, and gratitude, I know way too many people who get stressed during this time of year. Will I be able to buy my children what they want? Will I have enough time to please everyone? How will I pay all my bills?

In this modern world we’ve all forgotten what the true meaning of the holiday season is. We’ve all forgotten that it’s less about presents and more about presence. Stop worrying about everything and just be there. Be there physically, mentally, and emotionally. Enjoy your extra time with your children, friends, and family. Stop worrying about everything and just be grateful for those people in your life.

The holiday season is not about stress and it’s not about things. It’s about moments. Start enjoying them!

I am so grateful that you all are part of my and my team’s journey. Thank you for all of your support and your feedback. Happy Thanksgiving from the BOWA team and me.

Live Life,

Bert Oliva

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Bert Oliva

I Can’t Do It All

by Bert Oliva

I went to bed early last night and slept in this morning. I meant to do this blow post yesterday evening, but I was exhausted, so I listened to my body and allowed myself to truly rest, even though I had a bunch of things on my To Do List still. And you know what? The world didn’t end. And this morning, I’m all the better for my decision.

I don’t know about you, but oftentimes, when I choose to rest, my mind goes crazy with everything I’m putting off. I feel guilty and anxious and by the time my so-called rest period is over, I’m more tired than when I started.

This is not how we’re supposed to do anything in our lives. Anything that we do should get the benefit of our full concentration—put our full mind to it. When we put our full mind to a task, we accomplish it better and much more efficiently than when our mind is stressing over the next four things on our lists.

We are not meant to constantly multitask. Even a computer’s efficiency and processing speed greatly slows the more applications you have running on it simultaneously. So, this week, let’s stop multitasking. Let’s put our all into everything that we do and work on one thing at a time—whether that be a work project, family time, or even just resting.

You’ll be amazed at how much more you will accomplish this way.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Bert Oliva

Be Selfish!

by Bert Oliva

How important are you…to you? You should be the most important person in your life. Because, without you, your life does not exist. Think about it. You are vital to your life and to your success. So, what are you doing to honor how important you are to you?

So often we put ourselves last instead of first. Women especially do this. Husbands, children, jobs, family responsibilities, etc. all come before they do. Why? Because we’re told in society that we are not supposed to put ourselves first, that we must be humble and self degrading.

I am by no means saying we need to be selfish, or go after our desires in ways that hurt other people. I am not saying to quit your job or leave your children. You have responsibilities that you must take care of, but do not lose sight of yourself in the process. We must learn to take care of ourselves first. We must learn to realize that we are just as important as anyone else in our lives; in fact, I believe we are more important that anyone else in our lives, because it is our life.

This is not your husband or wife’s life, this is not your mother or father’s, this is not your children’s, this is not your boss’…this is your life. So it’s time you start living for you.

Change your patterns of thoughts and actions. Do not get up early to take your children to school because you have to, do it because you want to, because they are a vital aspect of your life that makes it better because they are in it. Do not go to work and count the hours till 5pm because you need to pay your bills, go to work and do the best job possible because you take pride in what you do and you know that working enables you to have the best quality of life you possibly can.

These small changes in your thinking pattern will make all the difference in your life.  Try it out and let me know what you think. If you do it properly, you will truly start living for you, rather than other people. You will no longer feel like the victim of your own life, but the hero.

You only get one life in this world, it’s time you start living it for you.

Remember to Live Life, Don’t Let Life Live You,

Bert Oliva

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Bert Oliva

The Beginning

by Bert Oliva

I was at the gym recently and saw a quote written on a dry erase board: “No one can go back and start at the beginning, but they can start fresh right now.”

That struck me. So often we feel we are stuck in a rut because we made the wrong choices way back when. We’re stuck in “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve” mode…we are never stuck. And no, we can not go back to the beginning, but we can certainly make the choices we want to today.

The beauty of life is that we can ALWAYS choose again. We are never truly stuck in any situation. Sure, the choices we have to make may not be easy, but no one said life was going to be easy. If you want the life you always dreamt of, the one that has you waking up every day ready and excited to go, then you have to work for it. You have to make the tough choices.

So, let’s start fresh today. Let’s make the choices we’ve been avoiding. Let’s do the work we need to do. Let’s go out and make the life we always wanted.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Bert Oliva

Take Charge

by Bert Oliva

Why do we fight ourselves so much? It seems like we are each in a constant battle with our personal leanings and desires. We are always trying to change ourselves—or even worse—others.

Don’t misunderstand me. Change is absolutely possible with each one of us. Moreover, it is necessary and good. However, if you do not have the right mindset when you are working on a change, then your journey will feel like a battle—full of obstacles and hardships—and you will more than likely give up before too long.

However, if you see the change not as something you have to do, but something you want to do—not a “I have to lose weight,” but “I choose to lose weight”—then you are no longer in a battle with your own urges, fighting a goal some anonymous someone laid down on top of you. Instead, you are in charge. You are the one making a conscious decision to change. You are not powerless against your urges but rather you are a student of yourself. You study your habits and analyze your pros and cons. You make a plan of action to put your changes into affect. You are the master of your own destiny.

This might seem like a game of semantics for you. This might seem like a waste of time and that it does not matter, but the shift in your subconscious mind that this change of thought process makes is gigantic. When you are no longer the victim in your own head, you no longer have any excuses as to why you haven’t accomplished something.

The only excuse is YOU. You didn’t make it a priority. You didn’t make the time. And that is okay. You truly do not have to do anything in your life. Everything you do is a choice.

Stop making excuses for yourself and fully take responsibility. You are in charge.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Bert Oliva

You Have The Power

by Bert Oliva

Are you a martyr? Do you feel sorry for yourself all the time? Do you do things for everyone else around you but not for yourself? Do you feel put upon, stepped on, pushed into a corner? Do you feel forced to do things you don’t want to do?

Do you find yourself asking, “Why does this always happen to me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why me?”

The short answer to “Why me?” is YOU. You allow things to happen to you. You allow people to walk on you. You allow situations and circumstances to dictate your feelings and your actions.

You are giving your power away to everyone and everything around you instead of standing up for yourself.

We do not have control over everything around us, but we do have control over how we react to what happens to us. In fact, we truly don’t have control over anything but ourselves and our reactions. We have the ability to choose how we want to respond and whether we want to give someone or something the power to affect our thoughts, feelings and actions.

The true secret? We should never give anyone or anything control over ourselves. When we stay in charge of our own minds and actions, we are able to be truly in control of everything that we do. This keeps us from feeling like a forever victim.

We all fall onto the self-pity wagon from time to time. We are human. And there are situations that happen that will cause us to feel that way. It’s part of the natural grief cycle. However, what matters is how long you allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself. Staying in a constant state of self-pity is neither healthy nor productive. You will never achieve anything that you want to achieve if you are always playing the “Why me?” game.

You are not a victim. No matter what happens to you, you have power in the situation, if you choose not to give it away.

Stop the cycle of martyrdom. Stop the cycle of feeling sorry for yourself. Stop making excuses for why you are acting or feeling the way you do. If you are not happy with what you are doing, then change it. You are never stuck in any situation. There is always a choice. Find it and choose again. You have the power.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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