The BOWA Blog

Bert Oliva

Time To Say Yes!

by Bert Oliva

How often do you say “No” to things? Truly? How many times have people invited you to do something or go somewhere and you have turned them down? “No” seems to be the go-to answer for most people nowadays.

I recently realized that I have ended up in a bit of a rut. Friends or family would ask me to do things and I would not go. Not because I had other plans but because I just did not feel like it. In fact, at least for me, there have been times when I find myself saying “No” in my mind before I have even finished hearing a person out. Our lives are so rushed with family, work, and other obligations that our subconscious mind wants to protect us from more exhaustion and says “No” before we really give the situation any thought.

It’s okay to not say “Yes” to every invitation. And it’s okay to listen to your inner self when something is telling you that you do not feel like doing something. However, everything must be done in moderation. And if you want to grow, it’s important to push yourself outside your comfort zone on a regular basis. And I had not been doing that. I had gotten too comfortable in my same old routine. I had gotten lazy. I had gotten stuck in the “No” mindset.

So, this past weekend I got invited to a family party. And, surprise, I did not want to go. However, I pushed past those feelings. I pushed myself to get dressed and join my family at this celebration. And you know what? I had a lot of fun! I reconnected with people I had not seen in ages. And I met some new people. It felt great to be out of my regular routine with people I love and seeing everyone have fun. Being outside my routine also recharged me and got me excited for the week ahead.

So, the next time you find yourself saying “No,” ask yourself why you are saying it. Do you have legitimate reasons? Or have you simply gotten too comfortable in your routine? If you just “don’t feel like it,” push past that. Take the invitation. Take the opportunity. Take the chance. You never know who you will meet, where you may end up, or what creativity might be stimulated inside you. Go ahead, say “Yes”!

PowerTools™
1) This week, do not say “No” to any invitation, unless you have other plans. This is a “Yes” week!

2) After each event or invitation that you take this week, analyze it a bit. What positives came out of it? What would you have missed had you said “No”?

3) Whenever you “don’t feel like” doing something, take a moment to figure out where that feeling is coming from. Does it have merit? Have you been working really hard lately, etc.? Or are you just too comfortable and don’t want to push yourself out of your comfort zone? If that’s the case, then it’s the perfect time for growth and to say “Yes.”



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Leave A Comment →
21
JUL
0
Bert Oliva

Better By Mistake

by Bert Oliva

“Mistake” is a bad word in a lot of people’s minds. A lot of people seem to think they are meant to do everything perfectly all of the time and get very angry with themselves and others when they make mistakes. When I was younger, I had no patience for anyone’s mistakes, even my own.

However, mistakes happen. We all make them. No matter how perfect we each think we are or how perfectly we believe we are doing things, there are times when we will make mistakes. It’s just part of life. In fact, the word “mistake” by its very definition means an unintentional error.

The real question is whether we learn from our mistakes. Do you find yourself making the same mistake over and over again? If so, that is because you have yet to learn the lesson from that mistake. Whenever I make a mistake now, I take time to analyze it. To figure out exactly what happened and what the lesson I needed to learn from it was. More often than not, the lesson I have learned is usually a very good one and/or causes me to change directions in something I am working on that leads to a much better, yet unexpected result.

My personal rule is that I only get upset with my mistakes if I repeat them. That simply means I have not taken the time to figure out exactly where I went wrong to begin with. We all make mistakes, it’s whether we learn from our mistakes or not that determines our own

PowerTools™
1) The next time you make a mistake, stop for a moment. If you are the type of person who beats yourself up over your mistakes, pause. Breathe and remind yourself that mistakes happen. If you are the type of person who does not give one thought to your own mistakes and who keeps moving at a million miles per second, pause as well. Breathe and fully take in the mistake you have made just for a moment.

2) Regardless of your personality, take a minute and write down the mistake you just made, preferably in your journal. If you have the time at the very moment, write down the circumstances and what you may have done in error to cause that mistake. If you do not have the time, go back to this page in your journal that same evening and write about the mistake. Analyze what you could have done better, where your mistake was and what you are meant to learn from it. Did the mistake cause you to realize something you would not have otherwise? Did it show you something you had been overlooking? Every mistake has a message. Find it.

3) Now that you know the lesson from your mistake, let yourself off the hook. Realize that blame is not a helpful emotion. Instead, work on your awareness so that you do not repeat your same mistake.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Leave A Comment →
7
JUL
0
Bert Oliva

Keep Them Open

by Bert Oliva

How often do you find yourself closing your eyes wishing whatever experience you’re in goes away faster? Wishing that the miracle that you have been waiting for was already here? Wishing to get off the roller coaster of emotions and events that you have been going through and just get back on solid ground?

Here’s the thing. Situations and circumstances do not happen on our terms. They happen as they are meant to happen in order to get us ready for what is about to come. Yes, that can be frustrating at times. I know there are moments when I just want to close my eyes and wish myself into next week or even next month, but life doesn’t work that way.

Life is not solid ground. Life is a ride, with ups and downs and some plateaus in between. Many people I know get off the ride right before they are about to make it big or hit the goal they have been working towards for years. Why? Because it’s hard. But, no one said it would be easy. And everything worth something in this world is worth working for. Moreover, a lot of the fun is the ride to get to our destination, not the destination itself.

It’s time we stop white-knuckling life, closing our eyes and wishing ourselves off of our ride. Instead, let’s all keep our eyes open. Not every twist and turn will be fun, but as long as you have hope, it will be an experience you’ll never forget and you will get to where you were meant to be.

PowerTools™
1) The next time you find yourself wishing to fast forward through part of your life, write down what you have to look forward to in the next hour, day, or week. If you can not think of anything to look forward to, look harder. It can be as simple as having a good cup of coffee or sharing a joke with a coworker. We all have things to look forward to. And sometimes, the smallest ones are the best.

2) Throughout this time, keep looking back at your list and focus on these positive things. Whenever you find yourself wanting to skip ahead, re-focus your attention on these good things.

3) As the time passes, look back at your list and add to it. What else happened that you would have missed out on? Realize how many good things happen in your life on a daily basis that you take for granted. Remember, if you don’t think every day is a good day, just try missing one.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Leave A Comment →
23
JUN
0
Bert Oliva

Not How I Planned It!

by Bert Oliva

What do you do when things do not go as planned? When your car breaks down or you get a phone call that changes your plans for the day? Do you get angry? Do you get frustrated? Or do you take the situation for what it is and keep moving forward?

We’re all human. We all get frustrated and annoyed at times, especially when plans fall through or change due to circumstances beyond our control. The question is, how long do you feel that way? Do you allow yourself to feel your initial reaction to the situation and then continue with you day in whatever way it turns out to be? Or do you allow your initial reaction to control how the rest of your day goes?

If you tend to do the second one, you are not alone. However, that also means there is still work to be done. If you work on going with the flow more and not allowing situations and circumstances to upset you, you will have more happier and fulfilling moments throughout your life.

Remember, the one thing in life that is constant is change. One of my favorite sayings in life
is “We plan, God laughs.” So, the next time plans don’t go your way, go ahead and laugh along with him. It’s much more fun.

PowerTools™
1) The next time something happens that changes your plans, give yourself one minute to feel your initial reaction. Whether it be frustration, annoyance, anger, etc., everything goes for one minute. If you can, write down your feelings or let them out in another form for that minute.

2) Once that minute is up, it’s time to change your state. For at least 30 seconds, do something totally out of your norm to get yourself out of your mood. Do some jumping jacks, dance, sing your favorite song, etc. Do something that will get your mind off your emotions.

3) Now that you’re back in the driver’s seat of your emotions, look for the positive. What’s the benefit of having your meeting cancelled this morning? Do you have more time to prepare? If your significant other has to miss your special date tonight, that gives you time to spend with you, etc. It may be small and require thinking out of the box, but every negative truly has a positive. Find yours.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Leave A Comment →
3
JUN
0
Bert Oliva

You Are What You Think

by Bert Oliva

Our brains are amazing. Truly. They are organic machines that are more capable of things than any one of us is truly aware of. One of the things that many of us do not realize is how our brains can help us get what we want. Our mindset is as important, if not more important, than the actions we take and the choices we make. In order to achieve any goal, we must work on having a mindset that corresponds with that goal. We must believe we can achieve that goal; see ourselves achieving it; know that we are going to achieve it.

The “Law of Attraction” has become a buzzword lately. However, that does not make the concept of it any less true. The Law of Attraction means that like attracts like. The more you focus on something, the more likely you are to attract that into your life. This is because subconsciously you will be more aware of opportunities that enter into your life that will give you what you are focusing on. And you are more likely to make choices, consciously and subconsciously, to achieve whatever it is that you are focusing on.

However, this concept is true for both negative and positive things, so be careful with what you focus on and what you want. Start paying attention to your thoughts and words. Start spending time with people who have similar goals or who have what you want. Like attracts like, so be with the people that you want to become like. Think the thoughts of what you want to become. The more you get your mindset and your everyday life to align with your goals and aspirations, the more quickly you will get what you want and become what you want.

PowerTools™
1) What is it that you want out of your life? What is your current goal? Write it down. Place it somewhere where you can see it regularly.

2) Are you spending time with people who align with this goal? Doing activities that will help attract opportunities to achieve it? If not, start spending a little time with people who do and/or doing activities that do.

3) Start paying attention to what you say and think. Do these thoughts and words align with what you want in your life? If not, start changing your thoughts and words. Do this by replacing one or two “Power Words” at time. For instance, if you say “No” a lot, replace it with “Yes, but not right now,” etc.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Leave A Comment →
27
MAY
0
Bert Oliva

Who’s Watching You?

by Bert Oliva

In today’s day and age, social media is not a choice anymore. It’s a must. And it’s not just a must to keep up with your family and friends. It’s a must for business.

It’s an excellent way to find potential employees and it’s also a great way to keep tabs on your current ones. Moreover, it’s a perfect way to keep in contact with your current clients and garner interest from prospective clients.

Basically, if you’re not on social media, it’s time you get on it. And, if you are on social media, make sure to keep in mind whose eyes may be looking at your posts. Realize that it’s not just your friends or family, but also your employer, coworkers and clients.

This is also something to instill in your children. Social media is so much a part of everyday life for our children that most of them do not think anything of sharing their most intimate secrets with the world. However, their future employers and even future college admissions officials may also be looking. Make sure you have your eyes on their accounts as well.

PowerTools™
1) Keep It Consistent – Get the same username on every single social media site so that people can find you easily (for instance, I am “BertOliva” on every platform I am a member of).

2) Clean House – Do a review of all of your social media posts and ask yourself, “Would I mind if my boss/client saw this?” If the answer is yes, remove it.

3) Keep Watch – Keep a watchful eye on your children’s social media. Make sure that they are not posting anything that could negatively affect their futures, or yours.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Leave A Comment →
5
MAY
0
Bert Oliva

Identity Crisis

by Bert Oliva

Are you an identity thief? Do you have multiple identities that you slip into depending on whom you’re around? Are you the good boy or girl with your parents while you’re the stern scary boss at work or the outgoing fun one when you’re out with your friends?

How many different personas do you have in your wallet? How often do you switch between them throughout the day? Do you even know which one is the true you anymore? Or are you in an identity crisis?

It’s time for you to be you and be the best you, you can be. Stop allowing society, circumstances, and the people around you to dictate who you are and what you do. Life is too short to live under the restrictions of other people’s expectations.

Throw out those false identities and half-truths. Just be you. Those people that matter and are true friends will respect and love you more. And you will be happier than you ever knew possible.

PowerTools™
1) Who are you? Write down who you are, what you stand for. Write this using the third person to help you get distance from yourself and the most out of the exercise. (For instance, instead of me writing “I am a…,” I would write “Bert is a…”)

2) Realize this “definition” of you that you just wrote down is fluid. It will change as you grow. Go back to this definition and refine it often. Each time will give you a clearer picture of yourself.

3) Whenever you find yourself in a situation where you are tempted to slip back into an old persona, look at your definition. Ask, “What would this person do in this situation?” Do it.



Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Leave A Comment →
21
APR
0
Page 16 of 36 «...101415161718...»