UNCONDITIONAL
by Val Leichtman
“5 minutes!” I hear from down the hall. I breathe deeply and put one last coat of powder on my face, over the large pink circles of rouge on my cheeks, the bright red lipstick, the long black false eyelashes. I stand and smooth out my costume, the black sequin gown, complete with an inner hoop that poofs the skirt around my waist. I pat my beehive hair and calmly stand behind the curtain. As the burgundy, velvet material begins to separate, I find myself in the center of the stage and begin the act I’m famous for, I start to cry . . .
—
I am a drama queen. No denying it. I am. Not too long ago (even perhaps a week ago), I would have fought you tooth and nail on this description, but it’s the truth. I always thought that a drama queen was one who starts drama. You know, an instigator, like the “mean popular girl” character in every single high-school comedy or drama ever made. But I recently came to the conclusion that there’s a second kind of drama queen. The kind that sees the drama in every situation and takes everything a little too personally.
I fall into the second category. If someone speaks a little too harshly to me because they’re stressed, I’ll hold onto that for awhile (sometimes hours) and wonder how I can “fix” the situation (which is actually no situation at all, but one I’ve made up in my head). This wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t show the world my feelings about it by crying. Tears seem to be my outlet for any emotion—sadness, fear, anger, frustration, and even joy.
I really do not like being known as the cry-baby and drama queen, but what you resist persists (yet another of Bert’s sayings). So, today, I’m going to stop resisting it so much and acknowledge one positive of this side of me: my heart. I have a huge heart, perhaps because I wear it on my sleeve so regularly. It takes a little bit for someone to obtain my love, but once you have it, there are very few things you can do to lose it. I’m a true believer in unconditional love and I can say, without an ounce of doubt (or tears for the matter), that I’m a true practitioner of it as well.
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JUL
