PUPPETMASTER
by Val Leichtman
“I don’t care that your sister is sick.” Cheryl says in her New Jersey accent while rolling her eyes. “I need you to work the phones while I get my nails done.” She pops her gum and looks down at her candy-apple-red acrylic nails.
I close my eyes for a moment and summon all my powers. I did ask her nicely first. The strings come flying down, whistling in the air–one ties to each of her wrists and ankles and to her lips. I will the strings to move her lips and force out the words, “Don’t. Worry. Jane. You. Go. Take. Care. Of. Your. Family. I’ll. Cover. For. You.”
Slowly, I lift one string on her ankle and then the other. She stiltingly walks to her desk chair. An invisible force throws her back into it. Her eyes are wide in shock. I smile. “I’m glad we have an understanding.”
—
“Jane, I need you to cook for me tonight.” My mother says nonchalantly across the kitchen table from me. She doesn’t look up, just continues to flip the pages of the fashion magazine in front of her and sighs, bored.
“Mom, I can’t. I have things I have to do.” I stand and start to walk over to her side to kiss her goodbye.
I hear the whistling in seconds and the strings are on me before I know it, digging into my wrists and ankles. My legs are moving disjointedly on their own towards the kitchen.
Fear overtakes me for a moment, though this is nowhere near the first time she’s been my puppet master, but it’s terrifying giving up control of myself nonetheless.
“I was thinking pot roast,” she calls from the table as my hand starts to chop an onion.
—
Control. We all have it at times. We all want it at times. And we all like it. Even if you don’t realize it consciously, subconsciously it’s nice to be in control–of situations, things, and even people.
However, I’m often guilty of controlling things too much. I want my brother to take school as seriously as I did. I want my projects at work to be everyone’s top priority. I want my friends to be available on my schedule.
Wanting and/or having too much control is a double edged sword. Yes, you may feel more comfortable in a situation, but you also don’t get to have very much fun. Plus, few people, if any, want to spend time with you.
Allowing others to control you is no good either. I often allow family members to do this to me. I find myself dropping everything to do something my father asked, like I’m still 10 years old. And when I go to do it, I resent my dad for it. But he was not the one who made me drop everything. I was. Because, no matter what we tell ourselves, we are truly the only ones in control of ourselves.
I’m currently working on finding a middle ground–not controlling others or allowing myself to be controlled. It’s a fine line to walk at times, but at least there are no strings attached.
JUN