RIDES
by Val Leichtman
Click, click, click, click, click . . . the car slowly clicks as it rises up the inclined track. My heart begins to pound, my palms begin to sweat as I grip the handlebars so tightly my fingers tingle numbly. The clicking stops and our movement pauses for what feels like an eternity. I clench my eyes shut. “What am I doing? I don’t want to be here. Let me out,” I weakly say inside my own head. Even the thoughts are futile. I’m not sure how many hundreds of feet up in the air we are, but there’s only one way off of this ride . . . down.
—
I’ve always loved rides, specifically roller coasters, but I never knew until recently that I wasn’t riding them properly. The above description is almost always exactly what would play out in my head during that terrifying, interminable first incline. Last year, the BOWAworld team took at trip to Tampa for Howl-o-Scream at Busch Gardens (the same great theme park with the added fun, Halloween twists of haunted houses and people dressed up like monsters jumping out of bushes at you) and I rode a roller coaster with LJ as my partner. When we got off the ride, he informed me I rode it wrong; that I was fighting the ride with fear rather than embracing it and just allowing myself to enjoy it. I looked at him confused (and honestly, probably a little bit annoyed; I don’t like being told I’m doing something wrong, especially when it’s true), but in his unique LJ way, he shrugged his shoulders, grabbed my hand and asked me to trust him.
Normally, I would ask a million and one questions, but that night I just let him lead me back to the front of the ride and into the “front row” line. “Oh, this is what you meant, I’ve ridden at the front before,” I said. His green eyes brightened as he said, “Yes, but this time you’re going to ride with your eyes open and your hands up.” I was immediately hit with fear. I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but something (maybe the absolute desire to not let LJ see me as a coward) kept me in line.When our turn came, we sat down in our seats. As it started slowly moving, he grabbed my left hand with his right, and held our hands up high. “Now put your other hand up and keep your eyes open.” I was terrified, but I did as instructed. It was the best roller coaster ride of my life.
I’d forgotten all about this special moment until tonight, when I found myself on a metaphorical emotional roller coaster of stress, fear, worry, etc. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I was back on that October ride for a moment; the wind was in my extended hands, my eyes were open, and I was smiling as I heard LJ yelling “Keep them open!” So often, we go through the rides of our life white-knuckling it and squeezing our eyes shut till we’re back on “solid” ground, or what we know to be “normal.” The problem with riding through life this way is that we miss out on half the fun. The next time you find yourself on a roller coaster, literal or not, put your hands up and keep your eyes open. Not every twist and turn will be fun, but it’ll be an experience you’ll never forget.
JUN