ROBOT-ITIS
by LJ Polin
Apparently I lack emotions. Or emotion, rather. I’ve been told that I don’t care for others or myself and that I hold no emotions in other things and people. And what scares me a little less than it should is that I genuinely have that small feeling of desensitization towards life itself. People have told me this, a lot, and after later departing from a defensive standpoint I still only half grasp the concept. This honestly frustrates me because I feel helpless and lost when a solution is really what I would like to cross my mind. Is it as simple as I think too much and I feel too little?
I mean every time I attempt to figure this out, this lack of emotion, my mind starts thinking and it begins not to make sense. After all, emotions are a human built-in trait. Everyone has them. So if I don’t ‘have emotions’ maybe it’s not so literal… So then what does it mean to ‘have emotion’? Cognitively, I understand what the term is however how is it shown? Is it having passion? Or is it about empathy? And does it tie in with being a ‘real’ or genuine person?
Unfortunately for now these are all rhetorics, however I’m bringing these topics to light because I mean to do away with them. After talking with a few of my coworkers, I’ve come to the conclusion that the base point of this self research has to start with self awareness. As well as self understanding. Give a 2-year-old a math problem and expect something short of a correct answer. Give that same math problem to an honor role student and your results may differ. Why? Because the student was taught and he understands what the problem is and also ways in finding the answer. Simple.
I also believe that, like math, this self learning process is more of a building block pattern in the sense that everything to be learned builds on previously learned knowledge. And that’s okay, you have to start somewhere. And since the first step is the most difficult I’ve decided to make it public both in my daily blog and vlog. In my own nature I will be taking a somewhat scientific approach to it because I believe that everything can be broken down into micro cause and reactions. There must be a pattern somewhere that can be altered and ripple into the rest of how I live life.
So today, I challenge you. Find something about yourself you want to change for the better and first recognize it. Then I don’t want you to think the situation over in your head, I want you to attack that idea head on and see if you can break it down into something sensible and alterable. I’ll definitely be following up with this topic via vlogs and blogs so stay tuned.
And as for my robot-itis, just consider it temporary.
JUN