Posts Tagged 'bowaworld'

Bert Oliva

One Of Those Days…

by Bert Oliva

So my day today was not an easy one, but during a moment of reflection today, I started thinking about my blog post from yesterday, in which I started out with the line, “Ever have one of those days?”

Why is it that that phrase is automatically negative? Why is it that when someone asks you that question, your mind races toward the worst day you’ve ever had? Why can’t we ever have “one of those happy, awesome, fantastic days”? Why is it so ingrained in us to thing negatively?

Researchers have found that 80% of our daily thoughts are negative. That’s about 45,000 negative thoughts per day. These are known as Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) because most of these thoughts happen without us fully being aware of them. Our brains also process negative thoughts differently than positive ones; negative feelings tend to involve more thought processing. Studies have also shown that psychologically speaking, most people view negative people as being smarter.

So, just why are we so prone to think about the negative? Is it human nature or something we’ve been conditioned to do over time thanks to society? Many researchers believe that this Negativity Bias comes from our evolution. They believe we tend to think pessimistically because it ensures our survival; the more scared we are to do things, the less likely we are to get hurt.

Though, I venture to argue the opposite. The more scared we are to do things, the less likely we are to take chances and grow and succeed. Nothing is accomplished by sitting around worrying all of the time about things that have not happened but could possibly happen. Whether you believe your future is set or not, you must agree that the only time we can actually work in is now—the past is behind us and our future has not happened—it is only our present that is available. And if we spend our present focusing on the negative, we will never get anywhere.

I challenge you to go out and change this. Look for the positive in every single situation that comes your way this week. No matter what it is you are facing, there is something positive there. You may have to dig for it, but it is there.

Now go out and have “one of those days.” Make it amazing and awesome and one-of-a-kind. Make it one of those unforgettably, unbelievably incredible days!

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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COURAGE (Lead By Example 20)

Lead by example! Bert Oliva shares with you a Power Quote about LEADERSHIP AND COURAGE.


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463: READING SUCKS!

A Motivational Moment from Bert Oliva.


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Bert Oliva

Commit Me!

by Bert Oliva

Ever have one of those days? I had a great Friday today. A day filled with excellent meetings that left me excited and ready for upcoming projects. And I ended it by spending time with close friends and playing some games. I even have an amazing Saturday planned, filled with breakfast plans and errands and fun things. I’ve been looking forward to my Saturday all day.

When I got home however, I discovered one of my family members is very ill. Not an emergency, but I have to take them to the doctor first thing tomorrow morning, which means my Saturday plans are now not possible. My family member’s illness of course takes precedence but I must admit I went through the normal gambit of human emotions: disappointment of the missed plans, resentment of the situation, justification of the situation, frustration and much more, till I finally just settled with it. It is what it is. I have a commitment to my family and that comes first.

Commitment is a big deal to me. I recently made a commitment to myself that I would write one blog post a day. Which is why I’m writing this at 2:58 in the morning. Just because situations and circumstances arise, there is no excuse to let your commitments slide. This is not because the people you’ve committed to will not understand your extenuating circumstances. This is for you. Subconsciously speaking, whenever you let yourself off the hook for something you’ve committed to, you begin to build a pattern of breaking commitments. You train your brain to not take commitments seriously, which makes making and keeping commitments that much harder.

Because of that, I am very careful with what I commit to; if I am not sure that I can fulfill something asked of me, I do not commit to it, but rather am honest, “I will do my best, but I can not guarantee I will be able to do it,” etc. This way I am honest with those around me and I am honest with myself. This builds trust with those close to you and trust within yourself. As you begin to become someone who fulfills their commitments, you will be surprised at how your confidence soars and how much better you feel about yourself overall.

So the next time you have one of those days where everything seems to be conspiring against you, take a moment to accept everything that is happening. And then get started on your commitments.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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WORK WITH GOALS (Lead By Example 19)

Lead by example! Bert Oliva shares with you a Power Quote about WORKING WITH GOALS AS A LEADER.


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Bert Oliva

Pushing It

by Bert Oliva

Tonight I went to an event at a spa and I met a lot of really great people. Believe it or not, prior to the event, I really did not feel like going. I’d had a tough day and I really just felt like calling it a day, but I had made a commitment so I followed through. And, as I said, it ended up being a really great time.

The people I met were fun and interesting. We laughed and joked and got to know each other. We made great connections and it should be the beginning of a long relationship. Heck, I even got a free facial! I came home smiling and happy that I went.

However, how many times do we miss out on fantastic opportunities because we don’t push ourselves? How many times do we let ourselves off the hook and just say “It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ll go next time”? Where we justify our choices by saying we’re too stressed, too tired, too overwhelmed? Where we just don’t push ourselves to go because we don’t feel like it?

I know I have at times. And when I’ve chosen not to push myself, I’m always left with “What if’s.” What if I had gone? What if I miss out on something great? What if I had met someone? What if…

Honestly, I don’t feel this way that often anymore because because I’ve learned that any invitation I take, there is always an opportunity there. It may be a business opportunity or an opportunity to meet new people or just an opportunity to have fun, but there is always an opportunity. So, on those moments when I’ve feeling overwhelmed and not up to going somewhere, I just remind myself of the opportunities I will miss if I don’t go.

We are all human and we all have our limits. There are times when we really need to take breaks and not push ourselves to the edge. But if this becomes our habit and our norm, then we are stuck in a vicious cycle that keeps us from growing and reaching our true potential. Remember, growth only happens outside of our comfort zones. That’s why it’s vital for us to keep pushing, especially when we are uncomfortable or “just don’t feel like it.” So, the next opportunity that arises, take it. Push yourself. I promise, you won’t regret the results.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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