TOMORROW
by Val Leichtman
Crouched over my desk, I look at the worn calendar in my hands and run my fingers over the thick red circle of marker around tomorrow’s date. Shadows dance across the calendar from the trees in the breeze outside my window. I pick up the squat marker and squeakily draw a fat red “X” over today’s date, just like all the “X’s” on the days before. Time for bed, tomorrow is the day.
Waking the next morning, I stand and stretch, and glance over to my calendar. I follow all the red “X’s” in a row and see that today is a blank square right before the red circle marking tomorrow’s date. Disappointment washes over me like a cloud of cheap perfume. One more day to get through. That night, I look longingly at tomorrow’s date as I cross off today’s date with an “X.” Tomorrow is the day.
The next day, I look to my calendar to see that today is yet another boring, blank day. Tomorrow is the day . . .
___
Tomorrow never comes. Truly, it is just like the above scene—tomorrow is always in the future. Nevertheless, this doesn’t stop us all from looking to “tomorrow” as that new beginning, that better day, the day when we finally do something. However, by doing this, we are always living in the future and not in the present; we do not enjoy the current moment because we’re looking towards something that is never actually going to arrive. I’ve recently started consciously changing my internal dialog. Instead of always looking to “tomorrow,” I’ve started looking at today as that chance. It’s not always easy, but when I find myself frustrated and thinking “tomorrow,” I’ve started changing my words to “right now.” Right now will be my new beginning, my better day, or the moment I finally do something.
Not tomorrow, today . . .
JUN