CHANGE . . .
by Val Leichtman
Pain. The pain in my palms is overwhelming. My nails dig into them harder. Small trickles of blood start to appear. I grasp tighter, trying to hold onto the stream of water to no avail . . .
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Change. At times I find myself involuntarily cringing at the word. Instinctually, I’m not a fan of it. I’m not sure any of us are at our basest of natures; we like habit. It feels safe. The problem is, that change is inevitable. And trying to hold onto the past with an iron grip is as futile as trying to hold onto a rush of running water.
Besides being futile, it’s exhausting. I have found myself at times running around in circles trying to avoid change. For instance, I once spent an entire day trying to get an older version of Microsoft Word to work rather than installing the newer version of the program (which I already had, by the way, and did not need to purchase). In the end, I ended up having to install the new program anyway, and I lost a whole day for no reason.
Almost always, change is very good; it brings in new ideas, new people, new experiences. Nevertheless, thinking logically when change is looking you square in the eye does not come easily, at least not for me. I almost physically feel myself grind my heels in and my inner, petulant 6-year-old little girl voice scream “No!” inside my mind, whenever I am faced with change.
Little by little, I am working on this. I would like to think that I’m more open to change than I used to be, but I can’t say that I greet it with excitement . . . not yet. I hope to one day though.
JUL