The BOWA Blog

Backwards

by Bert Oliva

Try something right now. Stand up and take at least ten steps backwards. Walk backwards to the next room or to get yourself a cup of coffee or glass of water.

How did that exercise make you feel? Was it easy? Did you trip or stumble? Was it strange not being able to see everything till after you passed it?

There is a reason our eyes are on the front of our faces and our knees bend forward. We are meant to walk forward in our world, eyes wide open, experiencing everything in the present moment.

So why do so many of us spend our days looking backward? We’re so stuck on something someone did to us or a mistake that we made or even just a circumstance that happened that we keep looking back. We keep harping on the past and putting our energy towards it. So much so that we are barely looking ahead of us. We aren’t enjoying the present moment, and we aren’t even thinking about the immediate future.

There’s a time and a place to look back at the past. It is good to learn from our past experiences, to remember good memories, etc., but when we are constantly living in the past rather than the present, we aren’t really living. We are simply reacting.

Let go of what is anchoring you to look backward. Allow yourself to look forward. Plan for your future. And most importantly, enjoy the present.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

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Limiting vs Limitless Beleifs

by Bert Oliva

Do you have limiting beliefs that are preventing you from reaching your goal? Do you find yourself doing the same old thing year after year, thinking that nothing will ever change for you? Is it possible to have faith in something that you believe in with all your heart, mind, and soul, and for that something to still be false?

In short, yes. Limiting beliefs are limiting facts and are ideas which you choose to believe on faith alone. When you presume false ideas to be absolutely true, you force your mind to operate in a state of disillusionment.

Technique for Eliminating your Limiting Beliefs:

1) Explore the less than desirable things that happen in you life.
2) Explore the feeling that you experience on a recurring basis.
3) Uncover when you first experienced this feeling.
      • What was the triggering event?
      • What were the painful feelings you experienced?
      • What beliefs about yourself and/or others did you internalize in the moment of your painful experience?
4) Acknowledge these destructive feelings and transition them to a positive by finding the solution they offer you. For example, instead of complaining about traffic use the time to listen to an audio book.

Once you have mastered the techniques to discover your limiting beliefs, you can address them immediately. By breaking those patterns, it will finally be possible to reach the goals you said a person like you could never reach. I heard in the news about a woman who lifted a car to rescue her pinned child. Before that day she never though she could lift a car, but at that moment she saw no other option. Sure her adrenaline was pumping, but she had no room in her mind to wonder if she could do it, only that she had to do it.

You are the director of your life’s story. If you want to change the story, you have to change your beliefs (and feelings) about the story. When you decide that something is important enough, you will overcome those limiting beliefs, but why wait until that moment? Address the beliefs that are holding you back from the promotion, solid relationship, or just general happiness today.

Here is your homework:
In a quiet place with no distractions spend 5-10 minutes thinking about each of the questions below. Go through each layer of limiting beliefs (they will sound more like excuses), until you get to the core. At that point you can address the limiting beliefs and change your destructive patterns that have been holding you back.

• What are the reoccurring disappointments in your life?
• What caused these disappointments?
• What was it that you needed to do to prevent it from happening?
• What kept you from doing it?
• Though it may be uncomfortable, what will you do next time so that you have the opportunity to have a better outcome?
• Are you holding onto any of these limiting beliefs?

Change your beliefs, change your life!

Until next time.

Live Life,

Bert Oliva

Want daily motivation, empowerment, and tools? Join Crazy People Succeed.

Put The Phone Down

by Bert Oliva

I don’t know about you, but it seems like I have a new notification on my smartphone every other second: email, text message, phone call, app notification…the information overload can be intense at times. You can feel tempted to look at every notification, answer every text, and before you know it, you’ve spent the bulk of your time on your phone and you have barely accomplished anything you meant to.

So many of us multitask all day between using our phones and doing other work. However, when you dilute your efforts you basically are reducing concentration and jeopardizing the results you want from all things.

Don’t misunderstand me. I love my phone. It’s barely out of my reach every hour of the day. It’s how I do most of my work. It’s how I stay connected and on top of my social media. It’s how I learn and stay up to date with everything happening in my industry. It really is the most useful tool I own.

However, there are times when we all just have to put our phones down for a while. When I have a task I want to accomplish that does not require me to use my phone, I put it down and I specifically set my mind on a “no-phone zone” until I complete my task.

Sometimes ignoring your phone does not come easy. We’ve all been programmed to react almost instantly when we hear that ding, ring, or bling, but it’s time to reprogram ourselves. Thankfully, most newer phones have “do not disturb” features (there are also many apps you can download that do this too), where you can set your phone to be on silent for a certain amount of time, but still allow calls/texts from contacts you mark as important.

In today’s modern world of information overload, it truly is necessary to unplug for a bit. I dare you to try this exercise even for just half an hour today while you work on a project and see just how much more productive you are.

Live Life,

Bert Oliva

QUOTE THIS: “You can do two things at once, but you can’t focus effectively on two things at once.” ― Gary Keller

I’m Uncomfortable

by Bert Oliva

Do you enjoy being uncomfortable? Nearly everyone would say “No.” In fact, biologists would most likely argue that our DNA is programmed to keep us out of uncomfortable situations. Usually, when we are uncomfortable, we try to get away from that feeling as quickly as possible. We may put headphones in, find ourselves pacing or fidgeting, or even just look for a distraction through turning on the TV or focusing elsewhere.

This tends to be human behavior and we all do it at least from time to time. However, my challenge to you this week is to pause when you find yourself feeling uncomfortable. Feel the moment. Allow yourself to be fully awake and present in your discomfort for at least a few seconds. Ask yourself, “Why am I uncomfortable? What is the reason for my desire to get out of this situation so quickly? What is it that I want to do to get away from this feeling?”

These questions will not take you very long to answer and your answers may surprise you. This moment of self-refection will give you a lot of insight. You may discover that you are afraid of the unknown, but by sitting for a moment in your discomfort, you may realize that the situation is not actually unknown. Or perhaps you may realize your go-to distraction is to eat or surf the web; it’s no wonder you’ve been gaining weight lately or have been less productive. Etc.

This is why self-reflection is so vital and unfortunately in today’s modern world, we seem to expect to feel good all of the time and always be busy. However, times of not feeling good and not being so busy are important to us as well. These are the moments when we can see what we need to work on, what our true motivations are, and where we can make small changes to improve our overall lives.

Stop running away from feeling uncomfortable. Stop hiding from these moments. Instead, embrace them and explore the reasons behind your feelings. Every moment of discomfort is an invitation to get to know yourself and your motivations better. Start accepting the invitation.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Quote This:
“Whatever makes you uncomfortable is your biggest opportunity for growth.”
~Bryant McGill

How “Social” is Your Social Media?

by Bert Oliva

Sometimes the name “social media” can be misleading. Social media may have started out as a way to just keep in contact with our friends and old classmates, but social media has become a whole different animal nowadays. Now it is not only a way to connect with those people important to our personal lives, but it is one of the primary ways to connect with our clients and prospects as well.

The question is, what kind of image are you putting out there? Are you professional or are you completely personal? There is a fine line to walk when posting on social media. People don’t want to do business with people who appear to be robots, but people also don’t want to do business with people who appear to be completely unprofessional either.

The most important thing about your social media is that you must be consistent and authentic. That way, when people do contact you, they are not shocked with whom they meet; they already got to know you a bit through your postings, etc.

If you are struggling to find that balance, it is often helpful to have a third party do a review of your social media and tell you what image you are presenting to the world. You will be amazed to find out what others can find out about you online.

At times it may seem like there are a lot of “rules” to remember and a lot of different platforms to attend to, but don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. I recommend starting with one social media platform and mastering it first before branching out to others. It is better to appear strong in one, than weak in many. Just do not let fear of the unknown keep you from jumping in. Now is the time to take advantage of everything social media has to offer.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Cut It

by Bert Oliva

How long have you been struggling with that one person or thing? How long do you have to keep hitting your head against a wall? How much more time, energy, and emotional strength are you going to spend?

Persistence, perseverance, and determination are all much-needed and much-admired qualities for us to succeed at anything. However, knowing when to let go is also necessary. Perhaps it’s human nature, but it seems we all hold on with dear life to our own detriment to things that are obviously not fitting into our lives anymore. Albert Einstein says, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results.” When is it time to start acting sane again?

I know letting go is not easy, but there are times when it is necessary for all involved. One of my favorite stories is that of a mountain climber who slipped climbing Mount Everest and fell till his rope held him hanging in midair with him facing up. He asked God to help him and he heard the answer, “Cut the rope.” He was too scared to. In the morning, he was found frozen to death, hanging just 2 feet from the ground.

You must let go to grow. That phrase has become almost cliché in its overuse, but it is absolutely true. It is time to move on. It is time to stop wasting time and energy on things that are obviously not working anymore. I know it’s hard, but in the long run you and everyone involved will be much better for it.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Quote This:
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ― Ann Landers

Stop It!

by Bert Oliva

Stop questioning yourself! Stop second guessing. Stop thinking you don’t deserve things. Stop putting yourself, your dreams, and your goals last. Just stop.

You are an amazing human being. You are special. You have talents and gifts the world not only wants to see, but needs to see. We need you to be the best you possible to make the world and each of our lives better.

No more feeling sorry for yourself. No more feeling like the martyr. No more making excuses and saying “What if’s.” No more.

It’s time to make it happen.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva