The BOWA Blog

I Don’t Understand

by Bert Oliva

I don’t understand why you keep getting in your own way. I don’t understand why you keep questioning your path.

Why do you keep pausing and looking behind you rather than looking forward? Why do you keep allowing fear to creep into your heart? Why do you continue to cling to negative people in your life because they make you feel safe or stroke your ego? Why do you allow your anger and jealousy of others to cloud your own destiny?

You are amazing, talented, and beautiful. Inside and out. You have a voice and a story to share with the world. Do not allow pettiness, envy, or fear to dim the light that shines within you. Grow the light and share it with the world. Not in a blinding, burning way, but in a warming, nurturing way.

There are enough opportunities and resources in this world for everyone. Stop being jealous of others’ successes, instead praise them, and go out and achieve yours. Sending out that positive energy towards others will come back to you threefold. You’ll be surprised at how quickly your successes come when you change from an envious mindset to an abundant mindset.

Stop getting in your own way. Go out and Make It Happen.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

You Aren’t That Important

by Bert Oliva

“You need to work on…” “You’re doing great but…” “Will you try to be more…” How well do you take constructive criticism? Do you take everything personally? Or do you take it for what it is and learn something from it?

I had a coaching student who was way too sensitive for her own good. She took everything everyone said so personally that at times she was not able to get anything she needed to accomplished.

I explained something to her that seemed to really put things into perspective. I explained that she was just not that important. That she was not the center of everyone’s world. That is, for the most part, she was not others’ primary focus.

As much as she took things personally, she shouldn’t because at least seventy-five percent of the time those people whom she felt had offended her or were upset with her, didn’t even notice whatever they said or did. She took the slightest facial expression and the slightest word to be the end of the world. It was quite something.

And when someone was truly giving her constructive criticism, her world seemed to fall apart and she got stuck on the criticism for hours rather than taking it in, learning from it, and moving on.

The underlying part of this was her self-esteem of course. She had such low self-esteem and was so worried about pleasing everyone around her that she become slightly paranoid. She thought every little thing was a slight against her. It was not.

Now, the odds are that you are not as overly sensitive as this person was, but more than likely you do have your oversensitive moments, perhaps even hours or days. We all do. However, the next time you find yourself feeling like everyone in your vicinity is “out to get you” or is purposely hurting you, remember one very key fact: you just aren’t that important.

So stop taking things so personally. Take in the messages and lessons others give you, but don’t let anyone’s statements or actions dictate how you feel about yourself. You are the only one who can decide for you. Go out and live your life, enjoy it, and Make It Happen!

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

How Are You Getting There?

by Bert Oliva

So my team and I have been on our road tour for a little less than two weeks and though the time hasn’t been that long, we have been tested like crazy.

We’ve had not one but two flat tires on our trailer (I’ve never even had one before). The running lights on our trailer shorted out at night on a busy interstate. We made a wrong turn and got stuck on train tracks. I lost my wallet. The alarm on the Swag Wagon started going crazy while we were driving, and then every time we opened any door for 3 days after. We lost LJ without his phone inside a Walmart and had to page him at customer service. Dylan stepped in dog poop while walking the dogs and tracked it all over Swag before realizing it. Sabrina sprayed air freshener in my eyes accidentally while I was driving to deal with the smell. Gizmo the dog peed on LJ’s bed and when we washed the mattress cover it melted in the dryer. We lit a fire in our cabin’s fireplace at Lake Murray (which took us Miami folk almost 45 minutes to get lit), only to discover our flue was damaged when the entire cabin filled with smoke. Our heater in our trailer stopped working yesterday night and we were all so frozen we couldn’t get out from under our covers for over an hour and started our day way later than we needed to. We even hit a bump on a curvy mountain road and everything went flying in our trailer: TV off the wall, table, and everything out of our cupboards. And my kids forgot their ID’s and were almost not allowed to get on the plane to fly home to be able to make it to school yesterday.

These are just a few of the things that have happened on our trip so far. And I’m sure there will be more before our trip is over. I’m not going to be dishonest and say there haven’t been moments where I’ve gotten angry or frustrated on this trip. But, I haven’t allowed those emotions to take over and ruin the whole trip. We’ve had some amazing times thus far and I know there’s more to come. We’ve even laughed during a good amount of the trials on this trip.

As I’ve reflected back on my trip so far, I’ve realized it’s a perfect metaphor for life. There’s no way to go back, you must keep moving forward. There are times when it feels like everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Times when you feel like a victim and that everything is happening to you. Times when you want to give up and just hide under the warm covers of your bed till the next day. But you can’t, life continues and you have no choice but to continue to experience it for as long as you’re on the journey.

The question is, how do you want to experience it? Do you want to laugh and joke and have some great times in the process or do you want to feel sorry for yourself and make you and everyone around you miserable? I choose the former. I choose to have fun and enjoy my experiences with the people on the journey with me and see what there is to learn from each one of them. What do you choose? Life is going to test you no matter what you do. You might as well enjoy the ride.

Live Life,

Bert Oliva

The Choice Is Yours

by Bert Oliva

How are you spending this last week of 2014? Are you just coasting through? Or are you still pushing to accomplish things these last few days? My family, team, and I are on a road trip. We’re traveling to a friend’s wedding and stopping at various places along the way.

The trip is fun and a vacation for all of us. However, my team and I are still working. I’m still doing my videos. LJ is editing footage. Alexa and Val are making calls. In between we’re singing songs with our kids and stopping to see fun and new places. We call this a “workation” – it’s a mix of vacation and work.

Just because it is the last week of 2014, does not mean you should not push. Make that one more call. Spend time with a loved one. Do one more thing to make today, and this week, one that you will not regret.

There is never a reason to just give up. Ever. There is no excuse that justifies giving up. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s up to us to do everything we can to make our lives what we want to make them.

Remember, how you end your year is how you start your year. So whether you are at work or on vacation this week, make it something that counts. You have the power to make this a great week or a blah week. My family, team, and I are choosing to make it the best week of 2014 and a great start to 2015. How about you? The choice is yours.

Live Life,
Bert Oliva

Investments

by Bert Oliva

Who are you taking for granted right now? With such busy lives, the odds are that we are each at least taking one person in our lives for granted at this moment. We make excuses and justifications: I’m too tired… I had such a hard day at work… I’ll have time tomorrow…

There are times when I find myself taking my family for granted, especially my children who nowadays are teenagers with busier schedules than mine most of the time. However, coming from a family of precisely two—my single mother and myself—I know how important family is and I don’t allow myself to stay in that state for very long.

I consciously make dates with my children. I go out mudding or to the gym with my older son Myles. I take my princess Sabrina out to dinner just the two of us. I play xBox games and watch movies with my little one, Dylan. And because I’ve always done this with my children, they look forward to the dates as much as I do. In fact, if too much times goes by between our special times together, they will reach out to me and ask me when I’m available.

It’s important for each of us to build these types of relationships with everyone who is special and important in our lives. There is no business deal, no appointment, no bill more important than the people who matter to us. The only reason we each work as hard as we do is to provide a good quality of life for ourselves and those around us. No matter how much money we make, if we do not invest in our relationships, we will never have a good return on the investment of our lives.

So, I challenge you, right now. List 3 of the most important people in your life at this moment. Now pick up the phone and call them and find out how they are doing. No, you can not text them, email them or “Facebook” them. Leaving voicemail does not count either. You must take the time to actually speak with them. Schedule a time when you can spend some time together in the next two weeks. Start investing in the people in your life. Start taking the time to enjoy them and build a stronger relationship with them. I promise, your life will be all the richer for it.

Live Life,

Bert Oliva